Just venting. Read at your own risk.

Lately I've been thinking about the reasons we do or do not do something. Whether it is changing a behaviour or bringing up a difficult conversation with someone. Why is it that we care so much about what others think of us? Why can't we just do what we know is right? Life is about learning to standup for our beliefs and values, following the example set by Christ, no matter the consequences following God's will for us. Why do we insist on making things hard for ourselves? I know there are things in life that are out of our control, but I think the majority of our heartaches are caused by things we choose. Choices that we make that aren't quite what they should be. I guess I shouldn't generalize the whole population. These are things that I struggle with, maybe it isn't the same for the rest of you. We have been promised that if we truly repent and forsake our sin and give it to the savior that we can be made whole. We can be forgiven and be freed from the burden that we carry. I've been there when that weight is lifted. I know the relief and comfort that comes with it, but I can't seem to keep myself out from under that crushing feeling. One day I can conquer the world and the next it is all I can do to keep breathing.

I was reading the Book of Mormon the other day and it talks about people giving up lives of sin. They were murders and came to live a peacable and Christ-like existance. It doesn't say how long this process took. I know it most likely didn't happen instantly, but how did it happen? What did they do that made their change so complete? How do I do that?

I just needed to vent that to someone. Mostly rhetorical.

And what was your name again?

Today I was thinking about what the first day of school used to be like. Back in the good old days of elementary school, maybe you would get to know everyone's names, go over classroom rules, figure out where everything goes, go to recess. I can't remember everything you would do, but it didn't seem to be filled with anything too stressful. As you get older and start having every subject with a different teacher it is much of the same. Go over the teacher's rules, maybe go over a syllabus, learn people's names. High school is much of the same, as well as the first couple years of undergraduate courses. As you start into upper division courses you might get a reading assignment for the next day or your first homework assignment.
Then there is the 2nd year of your graduate program. You no longer get the leisurely get to know you talks because you've been in classes with the same people for the last 12 months. You have the same 5 teachers that you've had the past three semesters and they already know your names way to well. So instead you have a reading assignment posted the morning of class that you end up doing in class. You go to a three hour lecture and find out that you have a test the next day and a presentation on Thursday. So I guess what I'm saying is in professional programs school never really ends until you graduate. Three years of continual school. Two more years and I will be done! As a teacher said today you just have to survive!

Moonlighting

So I decided after I broke off my engagement that I needed to do something amazing on the 12th of August. While it didn't really turn out to be an event filled day the night was amazing.

I had been staying with my brother for two weeks and needed to head back to Idaho. I had a few things to do first. I went to the dentist oh so exciting, then I headed down to Orem to spend time with my grandparents. I stayed up until about 9:00 p.m. when I attempted to take a nap. Sadly it didn't work. I just laid there with my eyes closed for an hour and a half.

I met up with my group at about 11:30 p.m. The people I knew didn't show up until right before we were going to leave. So I just sat in the corner by myself. :) We got up to the trail at about 12:30 a.m. There were a lot more people going up the trail than I expected. The parking lot was full. Incidentally, a lot of people ended up getting parking tickets for not parking in official parking spots. But it was the last weekend before school starts, it was a full moon and there was a meteor shower. That brought more people to the mountain than usual.

I tried to stay with the group for the most part at the beginning. I had never been on the trail before and didn't want to get lost. While the full moon made it easy to see, it was sometimes hidden behind the mountain. We had to cross waterfalls several times. Not an easy task in the dark, but my headlamp made it doable. By the time we got back you couldn't tell that my shoes used to be white. They were a nice shade of mud. There was also quite a bit of snow/glacier fields left on the mountain. I'm pretty sure we had to cross at least 8. Some of them easier to manage than others.

Eventually they told us we could just go at our own pace. It was going to get harder and we would have to manage ourselves. I took off after this. I was alone for most of the hike. Several people asked if I was hiking alone, I said I was with a group. Others asked if I got left. I told them I just hiked at a different rate than the others. I was glad there were other people up there otherwise I might have gotten lost. The snow covered the trail in several spots making it difficult to navigate.

Most of the group stopped in the saddle, but I decided I would go all the way up. I didn't come up here to stop short, even though my legs were killing me at this point. The last mile was the worst. There were so many times I wanted to turn back. I told myself I had gotten this far and it would be lame to turn around. I pushed on and made it to the top just as the sun was rising. It made it all worth it. Nature is an amazing thing. I'm always grateful for a chance to get away from the rest of the world and just enjoy what God has given us.

It took about six hours for me to summit. I was pretty tired by then and want to get down quickly. So I booked it down. It only took about three hours to get down. This was due to the lines I had to wait in to cross some of the glaciers. Some people were pretty scared to cross them. I ended up passing most of my group on the way back. Two girls made it back before me, but the didn't go nearly as far. I felt it was a day well spent. I looked it up online. The hike was about 14.5 miles round trip with a elevation change of 3600 ft. The summit is at 11,745 ft approximately.

Then I had to drive back to Idaho. I was going to take a nap at my grandparents house, but I was running out of time. My roommate was getting baptized at 6:00 p.m. and I needed to be back. So I just got in my car and drove back. Probably not the safest thing to do, but I'm still alive ;)

I ended up not sleeping for 38 hours. Now my internal clock is messed up. Hopefully, I can get it back on track before school starts next week.

Here are a few pictures I took with my phone.



Full Moon



Beginnings of Sunrise









Utah Lake as seen from the Summit



There was a little shelter on the summit. This is to prove I made it all the way up.











If you want to see more pictures go to my facebook. There is a link to another photo album on my page. Pictures taken with a real camera. They give you a better overall picture of the adventure.

oh what to do...

Now that I have some time to breathe I thought I would catch you up on my busy life.

I finished my summer semester almost three weeks ago. After going to school for seven months straight I was ready for a break. Summer semester consisted of a six week clinical affiliation, which I completed at LDS hospital, Pharmacology and Research Methodology. Pharmacology and Research Methods were completed in 5 weeks. There were a lot of people who loved this set up, only taking two classes for 5 weeks. I've determined they only like this because what wouldn't be better than taking 20 credits in one semester. I for one wasn't a fan.

Our Research methods class was pretty much one giant group project. This is the worst group I've ever been in to tell you the truth. We were supposed to write a research proposal on something we were never actually going to do. If you keep in mind that this process usually takes a long time and involves a lot of research you would know how awful it was to come up with a topic and write a paper in four weeks. All of the people in my group didn't have the same standard of work as I did. This created extra work on my part. I spent at least four hours in my professors office trying to come up with something that would at least pass for acceptable. This doesn't even include time spent fixing the paper. I don't know how many times I rewrote that darn thing. The sad part is that when were turned it in I knew it still wasn't good. Then we had to give a presentation on a paper I didn't even think was acceptable. Needless to say I was pretty stressed out. All my effort paid off in the end. Some how I ended up with an A- in both my classes.

With school out of the way, I time for all my errands. I went to Rexburg and help Michael and Amanda paint their trailer and move to their new place. I packed up all my stuff and moved into my new place, I got new car insurance (I'm getting old so they made me get my own policy. I know poor me.), I went on a ward campout with my old ward (I will miss them), and then I headed down to Utah.

I now have a nephew and I wanted to meet him. He is such a cute little boy. While he is sometimes happy when I'm holding him, he really likes his more. My sister-in-law's family was having a reunion last week, so I tagged along to most of the events. Some people may think this odd, me going to my in-laws reunion, but really I'm just part of their family. I've had Christmas with them, lived with Laura's sister, hung out on the 4th of July, went to Morgan's graduation party, some how I always miss the weddings though. We went to Thanksgiving Point, Discovery Gateway, and spent a lot of time at Grandma Petty's house in Draper. One of the coolest things in Draper in the neighbor's pet Zebra. So cool! On Saturday we went to see Kung Fu Panda 2. Not as good as the first one, but still really good. Although this could be due to the fact that I had a two year old runner back and forth across the isle between me and her dad the whole time. Very distracting.

I've had some time to do things with friends as well. I went mountain biking with Emily, I played volleyball at my favorite place, played ultimate frisbee (love it when I don't have to prove myself to guys) and played volleyball with a whole bunch of people I didn't know. Overall my trip has been really good. There are still adventures to be had such as hiking Mt. Timpanogos at midnight on Friday. Not only excited for the hike, I get to see my 5th cousin. Her family lived in Aberdeen and I haven't seen her in years. Another exciting thing will be on Saturday when my new roommate gets baptized. I'm so excited for her.

Then I have to get back to real life and do my professional capstone project. Then school will start again on the 22nd and my life will end as we know it. Okay I'm hoping it won't be that bad. I get to take some interesting classes and there is only three of them, so it shouldn't be as horrible as the last year. Wish me luck!