So I participated in a ropes course this weekend. It is for my Power 90 class. I've done a ropes course in the past, but Outlook makes it such a different experience. I would like to go through each task and explain what I learned from it.
I went into the day trying to decided what I was going to get out of the day. I have felt lately that I'm getting really close to completing my goal and I wasn't sure what big obstacle was still standing in my way. The first thing that we did was stand in a big circle and declare our intention. What was our biggest limiting belief and how were we going to show that we had overcome that belief throughout the day. I was the 2nd to last person to go. I had a long time to think about it. As I started it was a pretty emotional experience. I knew that the thing that was limiting me the most was my fear of failure. This is always what holds me back. I know that failure isn't really failure if we pick up the pieces, learn from them and then move forward using our new knowledge. But knowing something in your mind and knowing something and doing it are two different things. My goal for the day was to fail big and be at peace with it.
The first task were did was "traffic jam." You learn that the way to solving a problem has three steps: Trial and error, finding the pattern and efficiency. This task was interesting for me. My group often puts me in charge. I like being in control so usually I'm good with it. We had failed at the task a few times, but I had picked up the pattern pretty quickly. Even though we had finished the task everyone in the group didn't get a chance to experience what they were there for. We did the task over again several times. In doing this I learned a few things about the way that I live life. I see things one way. I have a plan and I want to get things done as quickly as possible. I have a tendency to do everything on my own. People are pawns to be moved around in the game to get to the end result. Really to be successful in life things are done as a team. We have to work together and explain our reasoning to people. Sometime others don't see the pattern. Instead of just doing it for them I need to explain what I see and how it goes together in my head. That way were are on the same page and can work together to get maximum efficiency.
The next task was to build a bridge over toxic peanut butter. :) The imagery during the day was awesome! we had three long polls that were to be strung over four large gaps between logs. Then every person in our group was to make it over to a raft. We had to do this efficiently as we were being timed. In this task I have learned a couple things. First it is difficult sometimes for me to buy into other peoples ideas. I think that my idea is so great and then it is really the only option. If I was doing the task we would be done so quickly. But life again is about working with other people. We can't discount other peoples fears. Just because my fears and limitations are different from their doesn't mean that we don't both matter the same way. The other thing I noticed was I really didn't want to fail. I knew that when it was my turn to get on the boards I was going to rock it. I would show everyone how well I could do it on my own. Well guess what I there were moments when I needed someone to stabilize me. I would have failed if I did it all by myself.
The next task made me a big grumpy by the end. It really is exactly what happens in my own life. Our task was to all stand on a platform and by using a rope swing to a pole on the other of a giant pick of dragon dung! Everyone in the group had to be there on the other side to complete the task and if you fell in the pit you died. There were a lot of people who didn't trust there ability to hold on to the swing. They didn't really want to listen to my ideas so I just hung back in the back knowing that they were going to fail and I didn't really care. I know that is horrible but it is how I felt. At one point a girl let go of the rope too soon and she ended up falling. It was one of those moments when you could see everything happening in slow motion, but you couldn't do anything about it. We finished the task without anymore mishaps, but I was not a happy camper. I sat in my corner and didn't say anything about what had just happened. Really inside I was just ranting about how things were common sense and people just need to think before they do things. But as I've thought back on it, these individuals had fears they were facing. They weren't comfortable with what was going on. It is not my place to force them into anything before they are ready. I want everything to be done as quickly as physically possible without thinking about anyone else or what is going on in their life. If things don't go my way or people don't listen to my opinions I go sit in a corner and pout about it. Not the way that I want to approach life.
Next we participated in a silent "trust lift." I had done this before and I easily got down on the ground and let everyone lift me up. I wanted everyone to have the experience so I proceeded to encourage people. We had everyone go. It was amazing the feelings of love that were involved in this activity. Watching other people just let go and allow us to lift them was amazing.
Next we did a "trust fall." Again I had done this before and it was easy to let go. But I also feel like I was showing off a little bit. I didn't hesitate when I fell back. But I remember doing this same thing when I was 14. I was not excited to climb up on the platform and let go. It is amazing how much confidence I have gained in the last 12 years. I noticed that I was still putting on a face for other people. I want them to think that I am fearless, but in reality these tasks weren't bringing up my fears yet. These weren't the hard things yet.
We went to lunch after this and talked about things that happened and life and it was fun to get to know things about people in the group.
After lunch we came back and put on harnesses. The next task was a giant rope swing. I watched several people do it and figured it was going to be pretty easy. I felt like the morning hadn't really challenged me and hoped this was going to do it. I was waiting for my opportunity to fail and I didn't know if I was going to get one...little did I know :) I got hooked up and my team pulled me up to a pretty good height above the ground. They say the arch of the swing is about 60 ft. When you get to the top you yell down what you are letting go of and what you are stepping into. I said that I was letting go of the fear of failure and stepping into trusting myself. As I pulled on the rope nothing happened. I knew I had to pull hard, but it hadn't looked that difficult from the ground. I tried every way I could think of to pull that rope and nothing was happening. I didn't want to give up. My team offered me encouragement, and I started to doubt myself. Was I just not strong enough? I was I doing it wrong? I had listened to the instructions and was doing it just as they had asked me to. Why wasn't this working? They lowered me back down to see what the problem was. The rope was jammed in the releasing mechanism. There was nothing I could have done to get it to release. It was out of my control. As they lifted me back up I was so ready to do it for real this time. But there was this little voice in the back of my head asking what happened if it still didn't work. It was taunting me. Before I pulled the rope I said new things. I was letting go of failing big time and stepping into not caring about it and trying again. Instead of throwing in the towel and giving up because it hadn't worked the first 15 times I pulled the rope, I grabbed the rope and pulled hard. It released just as easily as I thought it would.
The last thing we did was climb the tower. I was most excited for this part of the day. When my turn came the boys had lost there rope and it was my job to go retrieve it. I scurried up the tower. I was going to show everyone how well I could get things done. I quickly got the rope and sent it back down to the boys. Then my task got harder. I used to be deathly afraid of heights. While I have mostly gotten over that there is some that still lingers. I reached the middle platform and took a little breather. There were a couple ways I could get up to the very top, both didn't really look appealing. I chose to climb up a rope net/ladder. This was not the easiest part for me. The rope was unstable and moved with every movement I took. I was well over 60 ft off the ground and not excited. I really had to trust my crew on the ground wasn't going to let me fall. I stopped thinking about how high up I was and just moved my feet one step at a time. The ladder ended a little bit before the platform for I had to shimmy my butt onto it. As I stood on top I knew that I had accomplished something huge. I could do things that scared me. I could trust other people to support me. They still had to lower me down. Scooting off the edge of that ledge took some courage, but lucky for me I have a lot of courage :) It was a easier to describe what the next climber needed to do because I had already done it. I knew that she could do it if she just let herself go and focused on the next step, not the whole task. We need to be present now. We can change the past and we can make the future from our present choices.
With that being said my last post gives a great example of how I used all the information I gain from ropes course to make powerful choices in my own life. I am going to approach tasks willing to fail big time. Now there is a difference between being willing to fail and not trying. Being willing to fail means being willing to learn and move forward and not tearing myself or anyone else down for their choices.
I fearlessly communicate with those around me, I value myself as much as I value others and I trust myself to make powerful decisions as I live authentically me!
